I never did think that this was ever going to happen, but it did. I believed that I would never change but I don't know how and when I changed. I go back five years and take a look at myself.
Here was a guy full of confidence, ready to take on the world, kick every one's ass(some soft jelly like backsides were special). He would drive rash, take risks, full of energy and the word commitment was bold and 10 sizes bigger than the other words in his vocabulary. His word meant everything and his friends meant the world to him. His life was his group and thus there was no room for any girlfriends in his life (thats an excuse I know). The most gorgeous and co-operating girls would seem, not worth of course. So what was it that was worth the time? The tea at the shaq behind the university, the endless debates and arguments on the benches behind the classrooms or was it the will to be affiliated to not a group but a cause.
Life moved on and so did he. From the cosy confines of his home, his university into a competitive industry. Here he stood today unfazed, just as confident, ready to take on the world and still no change to be observed. Still kicking every one's ass.
Then there was marriage. Suddenly, words like commitment seemed to fall into place and take deeper meaning than just being the ones with a bigger font size. He did not notice it so far. This was the onset of change. He noticed that there was a need to prioritize what he needed to be commited to. There would be times when his commitment would take a back seat because he was now first commited to his better half.
Now here I am. I dont drive too fast anymore. I want to drink with friends but its not a big deal to not drink if my wife doesn't want me to. I look forward to being more at home than to be out playing my favorite sport, no matter how much adulation is in the offing.(the sport changed from basketball to volleyball :D) I think I am begining to gel in and be accepted as just another guy. Not too many highs to be taken from that but that has been taken off the priority list, willingly this time.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
Five years is a long time & things change - frankly every body has changed. Some in one sense & others in different. But Sharma - only thing more important is when we together value this friendship. I think more the time crosses thru that narrow never stopping sand clock - more effort would be required from us to keep this group going apart. So Sharma, transition is important & unstoppable - but I still feel when ever we meet we can have that momentary timelessness to go back into days of ........... & that is the only way left.
When we meet again you can again return to that old sharma days -taking high on every small thing & we would like that as we are also looking to travel back in time.
Good thought guys....
But does everyone not get to DRINK after marriage.. Shelly is an exception but rest of the newly weds show some hope to me...GUYS...
Anyway... I guess I met the new sharma for the 1st time on this trip. Circumstances certainly have changed, but for his good. Only change being that he cant drink, cant abuse, cant walk out whenever he feels like.. but thats ok..hahaha (haramipana but a real sadistic pleasure)
But a dawg is always a dawg..so in reality sharma is the same.. just living with restraints he cares about ... and we all will walk the same path some day. Only thing that matters is "us" together with or without our controlling half.
With fingers crossed I hope for another introspective BLOG 5 years from now...
Sharma,
We all have had the "ringside seats" to the show called "Sharma's life". We know the change, perhaps more than you realize it, because we see it, present in front of us. The change is an imminent one,and really, going by the way it has effected you, a thoroughly welcome one.
Here's wishing you and Rashmi a blessed life. We all will continue to be at the ringside, to stand by each other. And surely,we all will have our own "rings" (pun intended) in due time to take care of.
-Cheers.
PS: dude, and this is one "cheers" for which you dont need an approval;-)
Interesting post. I suppose way back we knew things would change as is the norm of evolution. Its what makes those days valuable and helps us to look fwd to the few days together. Its like a house that you have built over the years. After some time you rearrange and get new things. There are things that you want to keep come what may. I guess thats what matters independent of who figures on the list. Friendship should not sound like a task, it changes as do the people. I just hope we dont close ourselves into our own worlds but stay connected. Life demands more from us because we demand much much more from it!
PS: I wonder if this post would have been there if the last trip wouldnt have been with 4 bachelors :D
no comments I guess....enuf has been said already and has been summed up already i guess..
Sharma tu acha aadmi hai aur acha aadmi rahega..chahe doston ke liye raha ho ya fir biwi ke liye :))
so itna senti mat ho aur itni jayada high bhi mat le lena is sab se :)
kyunki tu ab zindagi bhar is baat pe deta bhi rahega ;)))......jo ki shayad dosti ka farz bhi hai jise tu bina better half ko dukh pahunchaye nibha sakta hai :)
but like I has said once before ...its not always about how much you all wud love and care about ur better half but also about how much they will love u back
"There would be times when his commitment would take a back seat because he was now first committed to his better half."
Commitment ka chod abhee bhee hai tujh mein..but I personally don't believe this. At times your commitment is blind and irrational!! I know mere kehney se kuch fark nahi padta hai..isliye itna muh futt hu..
"I want to drink with friends but its not a big deal to not drink if my wife doesn't want me to."
I understand...as you are next to god..and I am sure you wont dirnk even when your wife is not around...kyuki tu hamesha ek achaa aur sacha pati bana rehna chahata hai...(I also agree..ek dirnk ki koi augaad nahi hai beter-half ke saath kiye gaye promise ke saamney")
"I look forward to being more at home than to be out playing my favorite sport"
Again a god-ish texture in your voice...tu kitna acha pati hai aman!!!
"He noticed that there was a need to prioritize what he needed to be commited to.'
I don't know what logic you are applying here to prioritize things in life..
Lekin tu aisa hee rahega..jaisa hai..at least tujhmein koi change nahi aaya hai..tu aaj bhee waisa hee hai jaisa pehley tha..badal rahi hai to teri surroundings..tere aas paas ke log...jaisey naya "paul"..I am sure tu usey aisey hee treat karta hoga jaisey humey karta thaa...and your new better half...pehley teri maa thee fir kuch time ke liye daddu thaa..ab Rashmi hai...aur kal tera bacha hoga...lekin tu kabhee nahi badelga...bas tere emotional responses ke targets badaltey rahegey..and that's life!!
Punch line(Recap): Achey insaan kabhee nahi badaltey..badalti hai to sirf surroundings !!
-KM-
well, there is one good thing that has surfaced as a result of this post.
Sharma shaadi ke baad badla nahi.
(thodi high li gayi hai yahan)
My friends still mean the world to me and my wife is one of my friends.
The great thing about the group is when ever we get together we are able to re-live the sweet past for a brief time. It adds sugar to the present. And it is this sugar in our lives that lingers on. And as each day goes by, one craves for it even more.
god bless you my boyz and may u keep on meeting each other down the line.
I have got the best ringside seat
Post a Comment